As the clock strikes midnight on January 1st, it seems like the entire world collectively vows to become new people overnight. Gyms fill up, planners fly off the shelves, and we all set goals that, let’s be honest, often don’t stick past Valentine’s Day.
I’ve been there. I’ve resolved to lose 10 pounds, drink more water, and become an entirely different version of myself—all within the first few weeks of a new year. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work. And you know what? It’s not entirely my fault, or yours, if your resolutions haven’t worked out either.
The problem isn’t our lack of willpower or motivation – it’s the whole idea of New Year’s resolutions. They’re often too big, too rigid, and too focused on what we think we should do rather than what we actually want or need.
Why Resolutions Often Fail
First, let’s unpack why resolutions tend to flop. A big part of it is that resolutions are usually framed as massive, sweeping changes. “I’ll lose 50 pounds.” “I’ll stop procrastinating completely.” “I’ll save $10,000 this year.” While those are admirable goals, they’re also overwhelming.
On top of that, resolutions often don’t come with a plan. We decide to overhaul our lives without considering the steps it’ll take to get there. And the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve these lofty goals, often fueled by societal expectations rather than our own desires, is a recipe for burnout and guilt.
So this year, I’m ditching the all-or-nothing mentality of resolutions and focusing on intentions – gentle, purposeful shifts that feel meaningful and manageable.
My 2025 “Ins and Outs”
One trend I’ve seen circulating on social media this year is the idea of “Ins and Outs” lists. It’s a playful way to think about what you want to invite into your life (the “ins”) and what you want to leave behind (the “outs”). When I saw it, I knew it was the perfect way to frame my approach to 2025.
Here’s what made my list:
INS
- Slowing down and embracing patience.
- Prioritizing mental and physical health as non-negotiables.
- Savoring the “glimmers” – those small moments of joy that often go unnoticed.
- Cutting out the clutter, both physical and emotional.
- Fully leaning into what I love: family, friends, and hobbies that make me happy.
OUTS
- Sweating the small stuff.
- The grind and hustle culture that leaves me feeling drained.
- Overconsumption, whether it’s things or food.
- Treating self-care like a fleeting trend rather than a sustainable practice.
Why Intentions Work
Intentions feel different from resolutions because they’re rooted in self-compassion rather than self-criticism. Instead of focusing on fixing what we perceive as wrong with ourselves, intentions invite us to build on what’s already good. They’re flexible, adaptable, and, most importantly, they’re about how you want to feel, not just what you want to accomplish.
Take my “ins and outs” list, for example. Slowing down and savoring the glimmers aren’t measurable goals – they’re states of being. They’re about shifting my perspective and creating space for what truly matters.
This shift toward intentions also helps me focus on the process rather than the outcome. Instead of obsessing over whether I’ve checked every box by December 31st, I can celebrate the small wins: getting in a quick workout on a lunch break to get my blood pumping, enjoying a quiet coffee in the morning before anyone else wakes up, an evening walk with my kids, or a weekend decluttering session that leaves me feeling lighter (and able to see the playroom floor).
How 2024 Taught Me to Reframe My Focus
I’ll admit, this isn’t an entirely new idea for me. Last year forced me to re-evaluate how I was living my life. After a few health scares and countless tests, I learned that stress and lack of proper nutrition were taking a major toll on my body. It was a wake-up call.
I realized that I had been putting myself last for far too long. Like many moms, I was so focused on taking care of my family that I not only neglected my own needs but was also making situations where I was showing up kind of miserable for everyone. Because here’s the thing: We can’t pour from an empty cup. If I want to be the best version of myself for my family, I need to prioritize my own health and happiness too. I had created a situation where I was doing all of the things I HAD to do and resenting almost all of them every step of the way – when the kids were being loud and having fun, I was yelling at them to tone it down because I was trying to get in a few more minutes of work. When everyone was in bed for the night, I’d be at my desk trying to check off a few more tasks to get ahead for the next day. And then when the next day came I’d be saying “yes” to every extra project so that I didn’t let anyone down, while also instantly being irritated that I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my kids or relax that night…
So, in 2025, I’m leaning into what brings me joy and fulfillment. I’m focusing on the things that make me feel alive, not just the things that have to get done. And instead of setting rigid goals, I’m embracing the ebb and flow of life with a little more patience and a lot more grace.
What are your “ins and outs” for 2025? Or, if resolutions work for you, what’s your big goal for the year? I’d love to hear how you’re approaching January and beyond. Share your intentions or strategies in the comments or on social media @TheBlogtini – let’s inspire each other to make 2025 our best year yet.
Here’s to slowing down, savoring the glimmers, and creating a year filled with joy and purpose. Cheers to 2025!