We all know that the year starts in January, but there’s something about September and Back-to-School season that has real “new year” vibes for me. (And I know I’m not alone in this.)
With both of the boys in elementary school this year, our schedules are looking far more streamlined and simple. Last year they were both in school full-time, but my youngest was enrolled in private Pre-K in another town (in another state, actually), but receiving his IEP services through our school district. This meant that Monday through Friday, he would be dropped off at this school, and then our older son was dropped off at the local elementary school. But two days per week, we had to pick the little one up from his pre-school in the middle of the day and bring him to a different elementary school in town (not the same one the boys both go to this year) for his speech services.
So right off the bat, with both kids being in the same school and starting at the same time, and speech services being in the same building during the school day, we’re off to a less hectic start. Add in the fact that my younger is extremely enthusiastic about school lunch this year, and my oldest (who is extremely picky and has food allergies) is warming up to the idea, and I might finally be able to take making lunches off my plate. In our state, breakfast and lunch are free for ALL students … and for some reason, packing their lunches is oddly arduous for me (probably because my brain isn’t 100% functioning in the morning), so that’s another win!
With this newfound freedom (okay, not really freedom – but maybe “simplicity”), I’m trying to take advantage of our schedule and make some adjustments to our family routines, my work schedule, and my self-care moments.
Simplified Routines = More Breathing Room
The kids both going to the same school for the first time has made it a bit easier for my schedule to be flexible when necessary, since there aren’t multiple drop-off and pick-up hard timelines built into my day. Instead, I know that the hours between 8:45am and 3pm can be flexible and mine.
Letting Go of Perfection, Embracing Flexibility
To start, I’m leaning into focusing less on “perfect” and more on “flexible.” While it would be great if my schedule always aligned in a way that I could get the kids ready in the morning, get a workout in, attend all of their school functions and my meetings, and hit my deadlines, and their extra-curriculars and therapies without ever having to make adjustments or work late, I know that’s simply not the case.
The biggest place where I have control over my day is when I get my “deep work” done. Every evening I clear out my inbox and review/organize my calendar, so that when I sit down at my desk in the morning I can dive right into my to-do list. I like to build momentum with my day, tackling some easy and “low-hanging fruit” tasks first, before I dig into the tasks that require more in-depth work or larger chunks of time. I also try to keep at least 2 days each week free from meetings (which doesn’t always work) so that I know I can have uninterrupted time to get projects done and hit deadlines.
Protecting My Time With Better Boundaries
I also live and breathe by my calendar. I have my work calendar, personal calendar, and our family calendar synced together so that my husband and I always know what’s up (and he knows when I’m available and when I’m not). If something isn’t on my calendar, it’s not happening – so I make sure that every single appointment and school event is listed.
I also use Reclaim.ai to automatically add travel time to any appointment that has an address associated with it, which is a major help. This means I don’t end up accidentally booked for an appointment when I actually need to be in the car headed to my kids’ school or a doctor’s appointment.
Reclaiming My Health & Habits (Literally)
Ever since having the boys, and having pre-eclampsia, I’ve become more consciously aware of my heart health. Having had Severe Pre-eclampsia twice means that I’m at a higher risk for having cardiovascular issues in the future, and I’ve also had a few heart-related health issues in the last couple of years that were non-serious and while they did result in hospital visits and cardiologist appointments, are managed with “lifestyle changes.” And – as they say – the best defense is a good offense. So I’m going to make it a point to be more mindful of “getting my steps in” and getting the recommended 30-minutes of cardio per day to keep my heart healthy. (And also, let’s be 100% honest here – I’d love to lose a few pounds and regain some of my pre-Mom-bod confidence.)
Reclaim also lets you add “habits” into your calendar. I use these for things like working out, so it will automatically schedule me some workout time that bounces around throughout the day as my calendar fills up. Truthfully, I don’t often complete the habit – but my goal for the next few weeks is to start working out more, so I am going to start paying attention to this little moving target of a task, rather than ignoring it daily.
Reframing Screen Time as a Tool, Not a Villain
Another place I’m trying to be really conscious of is Screen Time – for both me and the kids. I spend my days glued to my laptop and my phone. While I’m working, I obviously need to be connected, but even during my “off” hours, I’m still on my phone texting with friends and family, checking social media, putting in grocery orders, or doing other home-management tasks.
Things in the news have been “heavy” recently (to put it mildly), and I find myself doom-scrolling in ways that leave me feeling anxious and stressed. I’ve been making it a point to spend less time on social media and – when I am on social media – work on curating my algorithm to be things that are a bit happier. I’m still keeping up with the news, but I’m doing it in moderation, from reputable sources rather than dealing with rage and click-baiters screaming at me from my screen.
As far as the kids are concerned, there are so many opinions floating around about screen time. All experts agree that too much screen time isn’t good, but there are differing opinions on how much is too much. For my kids – one of whom has ADHD – we, admittedly, probably give them too much screen time. BUT we choose to use screen time as a tool. My son with ADHD seems to regulate better with some screentime, so we use it as a tool to help get him calmed down. (He is NOT a kid who can “burn off energy” – he’s more like a kinetic energy machine, the more energy he uses, the more he makes.) And when my husband and I need to get some things done – work, chores, whatever – we lean on screentime (again, probably a bit too heavily) to get the time we need while the kids are entertaining themselves.
That said, we’re very conscious of what they’re doing. I’ve become an expert in iPad and various app Parental Controls. I’ve limited their communications in apps to only approved contacts (at this point it’s just family), and they can’t download apps without me reviewing and approving them from my phone. They also won’t be getting social media for a loooong time (they’re only 7 and 5, so we have some time before we really need to cross that bridge anyway), and in the meantime, I’ve locked down all discussion board/chat types of websites.
What I’m Saying Yes To This Fall
- Flexible days
- Intentional screen time
- Protecting white space
- Moving my body
- Asking for help
- Saying no to perfection
It’s not about overhauling everything. It’s about making small shifts that give our family more peace and give me a little more room to breathe.